It took all my strength not to bring the blubbering wreck version of my twenty-two year old self into the training room that day. Break-ups are never easy, but when your self-esteem is conjoined to another person, you don't just lose a person, you lose yourself too.
Though my concentration was strained that day, my passion wasn't ever compromised. I had wanted to train in Play Therapy ever since I knew it existed. And this was my very first taste of it.
Sometime after a much needed lunch break, we sat down to hear a Hawaiian teaching about a bowl of light - a bowl that is said to hold all of one's happiness and true potential. And a bowl that, as life throws you challenges, starts to fill up with stones, which ultimately block your light.
Instructed to make our own bowl of light out of craft odds and ends, I selected some thick dusky pink paper and a white doily and I set to work. Then, with my taped-up pink paper bowl (which was more hexagonal than round) I chose my stones.
And that's when I saw it.
As I placed the big, heavy, jagged rock into my fragile taped-up bowl, all but a tiny portion of my light disappeared.
And that was the moment I realised that it was me. I was the one drowning myself in darkness. Because though I had no choice in being left, I did have total control over the amount of light I would let that break-up block out. It was me who had the choice over which stone to pick up and place in my light. And that marked my very first steps on the most empowering journey of self-worth and growth, and of claiming myself and my life.
Five steps to start using a bowl and stones for self-reflection today
1) Find or make a bowl. It doesn't need to be any particular shape, size or colour. Any bowl will work just fine.
2) Reflect on the present challenges in your life.
3) Choose a stone or similar object to represent each challenge.
4) Reflect on the size, shape, colour and texture of the stones you place. And reflect on how much light they are blocking.
5) Ask yourself for each stone: Am I willing to allow this stone to block so much of my light? What do I need to change, learn or let go of to be able to place a different, smaller, stone in my bowl?
My pink paper bowl was blocked by one big stone for quite a long time - but it wasn't the jagged break-up rock that I first placed and had no control over. I quickly swapped that out. The stone that I saw in my bowl at the end of every day for three or four months was in fact a plastic red heart that represented the challenge of learning to love myself for who I was and knowing my true worth.
And when I finally took it out of my bowl I kept if for long while as a reminder of just how far I had come.
It took all my strength not to bring the blubbering wreck version of my twenty-two year old self into the training room that day. Break-ups are never easy, but when your self-esteem is conjoined to another person, you don't just lose a person, you lose yourself too.
Though my concentration was strained that day, my passion wasn't ever compromised. I had wanted to train in Play Therapy ever since I knew it existed. And this was my very first taste of it.
Sometime after a much needed lunch break, we sat down to hear a Hawaiian teaching about a bowl of light - a bowl that is said to hold all of one's happiness and true potential. And a bowl that, as life throws you challenges, starts to fill up with stones, which ultimately block your light.
Instructed to make our own bowl of light out of craft odds and ends, I selected some thick dusky pink paper and a white doily and I set to work. Then, with my taped-up pink paper bowl (which was more hexagonal than round) I chose my stones.
And that's when I saw it.
As I placed the big, heavy, jagged rock into my fragile taped-up bowl, all but a tiny portion of my light disappeared.
And that was the moment I realised that it was me. I was the one drowning myself in darkness. Because though I had no choice in being left, I did have total control over the amount of light I would let that break-up block out. It was me who had the choice over which stone to pick up and place in my light. And that marked my very first steps on the most empowering journey of self-worth and growth, and of claiming myself and my life.
Five steps to start using a bowl and stones for self-reflection today
1) Find or make a bowl. It doesn't need to be any particular shape, size or colour. Any bowl will work just fine.
2) Reflect on the present challenges in your life.
3) Choose a stone or similar object to represent each challenge.
4) Reflect on the size, shape, colour and texture of the stones you place. And reflect on how much light they are blocking.
5) Ask yourself for each stone: Am I willing to allow this stone to block so much of my light? What do I need to change, learn or let go of to be able to place a different, smaller, stone in my bowl?
My pink paper bowl was blocked by one big stone for quite a long time - but it wasn't the jagged break-up rock that I first placed and had no control over. I quickly swapped that out. The stone that I saw in my bowl at the end of every day for three or four months was in fact a plastic red heart that represented the challenge of learning to love myself for who I was and knowing my true worth.
And when I finally took it out of my bowl I kept if for long while as a reminder of just how far I had come.
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hi@meaningsovermilestones.com